You design your life

Okay, let me be quite narcissistic this time. Hehe.

First, have this question to yourself, "Imagine your daughter/son dating someone exactly like you, are you okay with that?"

To be honest, my answer was "Weh, of course I feel gooooooooood if my son dating someone like me." Hahaha. tahu je bunyi macam I am good enough to berlagak. Good apa benda nya, compang camping lagi even dah nak masuk 21 tahun lol. But seriously, I don't think someone like me is that bad sampai I have to object my son dating/seeing someone exactly like his mother (me, at this age). Haha, true that no one is ever good enough, no one can really live up to one's expectation and if we really look for perfection, nah I don't think we can live in peace. Manusia tak pernah sempurna, dan kalau bukan kita yang rasa kita ni 'okay' (you define lah 'okay' tu macam mana, it's your life) then who else nak percaya dekat kita? A little narcissism won't hurt, instead kadang kadang boleh buat kita stand on our own errr takde idea nak explain more. Tapi, yes, jangan rasa diri teruk sangat, sebab kalau kita sendiri asyik nak jatuhkan diri sendiri, orang lain pun boleh kurang yakin / kurang percaya dengan kita, percayalah.

One good thing I can think of myself  right now (I hope this is not something you can cakap I ni perasan ke apa since I want others to have this 'good thing' too) is I don't like 'mainstreams'. Yes, I mean it. Macam, kalau boleh seboleh boleh nya taknak ikut what others do (tapi kadang kadang benda baik pun rasa mainstream pastu degil taknak ikut juga hahah). Tapi serious, ada time rasa macam teruk juga sebab bila that one thing becomes trend or a norm, rasa macam ketinggalan bila not being part of them.

Antara 'mainstreams' I chose not to do are ;

1. read what others read, this one sensitive sikit, so I biasanya ended up reading buku yang orang tak baca haha bukan nak jadi out of norm ke apa, tapi tak tertarik bila orang sekeliling ramai baca buku yang sama hehe

2. having goals other people have tak kisah lah in whatever aspect pun or in other words, admiring people tak kira celebrity atau public figure secara besar besaran (errrr) . or at least, I am not the type yang telling others my goals of life ke whatever, I prefer to keep all by myself (sebab mungkin banyak sangat or tak terfikir satu pun hahaha). So, you can barely see me tweeting or writing or even retweeting benda benda berkaitan life goals ke apa I can be like 'ewwww these people takde life sendiri ke nak ada goals yang ada dekat life orang lain' atau boleh jadi 'diorang ni yakin sangat ke nak life macam orang yang diorang admire tu, social media can deceive tho' sorry if it sounds jahat sikit

Hehe gurau je. Bukannya things I don't do ni, I don't like other people to do. I okay je kalau semua orang nak jadi 'mainstream' boleh lah I sorang je shine in my own way (haha nampak tak niat nak jadi rare tu). Lol, ini antara post tak function betul ni, macam takde point gila tulis benda benda ni tapi tahu je yang baca pun close friends je (jangan terasa kay).

And, one more thing about people complaining of 'jangan judge aku, kau tak tahu life aku bla bla bla' hmmm I am okay if you judge me, since I do expose some parts of my life dekat public so what do you expect people not judging you kan? Lek ah, kalau taknak orang judge diam je lah, tak payah update pasal life you banyak sangat dekat media sosial. Eleh, you pun judge orang kan? And I don't think it's a big sin pun as long as you tak keji the natural sifat dia, jangan keji mengutuk mengumpat, simpan sorang je judgment you tu okay?

Bye. Penat juga merepek sebenarnya. Haha.

Because it's once a year ..

Bismillah and Assalamualaikum :)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal wa astaghfirullah. Just in a blink of eye, this holy month is coming towards its very end. Time sure moves so fast, kan? I hope it's not too late to reflect what we have done these past three weeks of Ramadan.

Updating status(es), tweet(s), instagram caption(s) with good deeds you have done is not a sin, but it's better to keep everything to yourself, at least that's what I think. But who knows, with few things you updated on your own social media give benefits to others. Maybe, those who read what you wrote (typed) become inspired to do those good things as well? In whatever we do, the main thing we have to be aware of is our 'niat' (intention), which of course should be kerana Allah semata mata so that semua yang kita buat tu tak sia sia. Sebab hidup ini seharusnya meant 'to impress God, not human beings', agree or not, that's it, that's what life is all about.

Jadi, seeloknya reflect diri sendiri balik, 'selfie' diri sendiri on setiap perkara yang you have done or not yet done. Yang semampunya, because as for me, ada je benda tak tercapai setakat ni (so sad, my bad) tapi untuk perkara yang mampu nak buat tu, pertingkatkan lah! And, since we are already in the very last phase of Ramadan, everyone is struggling to increase the numbers and quality of their own ibadah. Sebab Allah dah janjikan, our Prophet Muhammad dah sampaikan pada kita yang adanya suatu malam yang lebih baik dari seribu bulan pada 10 malam terakhir Ramadan. Siapa tak nak lepas peluang setahun sekali kan?

"Allah offer kita cukup baik punya ganjaran, takkan kita nak sia sia kan? Orang nak offer free free dekat kita 2700 ringgit, takkan kita nak ambik 100 ringgit je kan?" - Ummi.

Haritu masa I was home, Abah was back from work, he shared something he got from tazkirah at his workplace yang sounds lebih kurang macam ni :

"Kita sebenarnya tak boleh pastikan pun malam ganjil bila, sebab perkiraan kita tak berapa tepat dengan waktu sebenar sebab yang sebenarnya kita tak dapat pasti pun perubahan bentuk bulan yang sepatutnya jadi panduan kita. So, apa kita kena buat is to constantly buat apa yang kita aim nak buat time malam lailatul qadr tu, setiap malam cuba bangun malam, banyakkan doa."

Errr, faham tak apa yang saya faham? Haha, sorry kalau belit sikit ayat sebab tak reti nak explain in text. Tapi nak katanya lebih kurang macam sebenarnya perkiraan kita dalam takwim bulan Islam takde lah tepat sangat dan kita tak boleh jamin exact malam ganjil tu bila. Jadinya, kalau betul kita nak kejar ganjaran lailatul qadr tu, buat constantly ibadah tu kalau boleh setiap malam, jangan memilih malam ganjil as stated dalam takwim je untuk bangun malam beribadah. Faham kan, harapnya.

Kalau dulu zaman jahil lagi selalu fikir "Alah, haritu orang dah kecoh pasal lailatul qadr, tak perlu dah lah nak bangun beribadah next malam sebab dah jadi lailatul qadr haritu." Haaa, ini lah silap saya, nampak kan betapa lemahnya iman seorang hamba, sedangkan Allah lebih suka kalau kita buat benda biarpun sedikit asalkan istiqamah.

Wallahualam. Selamat meneruskan amal!