Clock's ticking, what I'm waiting for?


Okay. It took me five minutes staring at this blank page (screen) before I started to type the first word. Inferiority complex? What is that?

Based on what I found on merriam-webster, this is the definition ;

"an acute sense of personal inferiority often resulting either in timidity or through overcompensation in exaggerated aggressiveness"

Hmm, Maisarah perhatikan hidup sendiri. Atas bawah depan belakang staring at diri sendiri. Kenapa macam kurang (hanya nak sedapkan hati daripada guna 'langsung takde') self value. So, who am I now, today? Basically a medical student (well, not everyone gets the chance to do the thing I'm doing, okay I agree with you on that). Apa lagi? Basicnya, okay I am a sister, a daughter, a friend bla bla bla. Itu, semua orang pun ada posisi dalam circle masing masing.

You can tell kan I currently have a self destruction feeling which I am being insecure with my own life. I know, it's kind of a destructive emotion, but I have no idea how to get myself out of this thinking. Help! *brb crying*  Tengok masing masing di sekeliling ada kelebihan sendiri, tahan je dari menangis tak berlagu, lagu pun tak sudi nak iring tangisan, pathetic!

Bukan sekali dua datang feeling macam ni, tapi setiap kali 'dia' datang, Maisarah tak juga buat apa apa. The clock's ticking, and I am still waiting for a miracle to happen. No, don't make it sound pathetic to you walaupun sebenarnya it absolutely is. Dah 20 tahun hidup, tapi apa pun Maisarah tak mampu buat lagi. Sedih jugak, eh sedih banyak lah, kasihan pun ada sebab masih mencari identiti dan kelebihan diri sendiri. Bukan nak tunjuk dekat orang pun, cuma nak ada satu benda yang boleh buat rasa lebih baik, nak ada perasaan puas bila buat suatu perkara tu.

To everyone, I am absolutely nothing good kan? Haha. Takpe lah, redha je.

Lucky you if you have that one thing you know you are good at.

To not be inferior does not mean to be superior, no? Wish me luck in life! May I found something good about myself suatu hari nanti.


4 comments:

  1. I have nothing good at too tsktsk brb join crying haha cheer up mai! Ada je tu cuma belum dikikis lagi hehehe marilah kita mencari bakat yang tak tahu nak dicungkil dari mana haha. Take care there!

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  2. Ehhhh wait a sec. Mai pandai tulis and pandai pantun and berani atas pentas and wuaaaaa banyak lah tuuuu. Okay brb crying alone hahahah

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    1. I'm afraid sekarang dah takde skills semua tu sangat alahai sedih. If you ask me Dylla, you are good in photography whatt, and you too, write very well. InshaAllah, apa apa pun, may kita jumpa something good in ourselves yg bring good for others jugak :)

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  3. Haha. Sbb apa kita rasa cmtu. Haa. Sebab kita manusia. Even bila kita ada something, (kita rasa macam ada) tapi bila kita pergi ke satu tempat yg semua org pun boleh buat benda td tu, tet, rasa tu dtg balik. Pastu ok, 'mungkin menda lain plak kot" pastu And the cycle tu repeat repeat repeat, lagi lagi on 'that time' of the month (women. Sighs) Everyone have that side. Chillax :)

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